tiggerssuicidewatch

it seems since I have journaled in here.  Life just doesn't seem to change much so there really isn't much new to add.  Plus since I am not and "artist" I feel like I am on the outside looking in here. But I can appreciate others art and do so regularly. Seriously nothing much new has happened in the past year. I took off my engagement ring last July and while I still talk to that person upon occasion it is really more as a friend than anything and MOST of the time that is ok. Every so often I still get blindsided by what I wanted that didn't happen but I pick myself up and keep trying to move on. I did try dating a couple of times and have

today has been a really strange day...full of the ups and down of life i guess. i have been very emotional.  I thought i would like have more girls in my house and i do but girls have alot of STUFF!!!  I feel like my house has been taken over and i have no control over any of it.  And i have realized that i don't like the feeling of being out of control...never really considered that before...my life is out of control so much....i mean with 8 kids and all.... but anyway after i took lydia to daycare i went to my lawyers office...more crap that i have to do just simply to have down on paper what just should be being done anyway....and i actu

well, i got caught up reading all the journals i follow and looked at alot of deviations....wish i was talented.   it is a weepy day today.  i feel so empty, lonely and abandoned.  i have decided that men in my life come in two forms...the asshole type who take me for granted (aka rob)  or the douche bag type who think i am an easy lay because i have 8 children (aka my date of a couple weeks ago).  i know one man who defies both of these stereotypes.  but i  blew that one.... anyway, i am not willing to try again but....today is one of those days that i just wish there was someone out there who really loved me enough to care about both me a